Who's doing the work? Active voice matters

We've all had English classes and some paid more attention than others.  I was more a math and science guy and suffered through English class.  I never paid attention to whether I wrote with active or passive voice.  That is, until I realized the power of active voice, especially in proposals.

• The active voice describes a sentence where the subject performs the action. For example, in the sentence “Steve complimented Patty,” Steve (the subject) is performing the verb (complimented) and Patty (the object) is receiving the action. It follows a clear subject + verb + object construct that's easy to read.

• With passive voice, the subject comes after the verb. For example, in “Patty was complimented by Steve,” Steve isn’t performing the verb, even though he's the one giving the compliment. Passive voice leads to all kinds of structural confusion for the reader; you can be more straightforward with active voice.

When it comes to proposals, active voice is very important because it helps the reader (the source selection team) easily envision YOU doing the work, which is precisely what you want.   In it's worst state, passive voice leaves the reader completely confused over who's doing the actual work and whether you're proposing to do it or expecting somebody else (like the client) to do it for you?  That's never a good situation. 

• Bad: When schedule changes are approved by the client, project documents are updated.
• Good: Our lead engineer updates project documents once schedule changes are approved by the client.

• Bad: Upon fix validation by the end-users, trouble tickets are closed.
• Good: Our incident management specialist closes trouble tickets upon fix validation by the end-users.

Microsoft Word has an excellent passive voice detection capability.  USE IT and help your prospect envision you as their service provider!

Do you need additional assistance reviewing your writing and making sure it resonates with the client?  We are happy to provide an extra set of eyes.  Click the "Contact" link and let us know.